our last goodbye
pine trees shrouded
by the mist
--Cara Holman
abandoned chapel -
spiders weaving around Jesus
another shroud
--Cezar F. Ciobîca,Botoani, Romania
Cara's 'last' goodbye is jolting, the reader is startled into attentiveness; the finality of Line One is sharp and cutting; 'last' is a well used, better than say 'final'; and carrying much the same weight. This final adieu; is received in a scene of confusion, unexplained, just like the mist of Line Two encrouching upon the strong, supposedly evergreens, one looks to with an eternity kind of gaze; but even these are seasonly cut down, but such thoughts are not in fore front of the gazer. What compels, is its strength and length of days. Line Two, extends the preface of the opening Line, to tell a deeply emotive tale of finality, loss and confusion.
Yet again in Cezar's haiku, the phrase of Line One sets the pace; feelings of dessertion and loneliness are evoked, in the reader, and the theme continues in resonance, with activity only of spiders. There is at another level a story of cause and consequence; in abandoning our spiritual self, we place ourselves in darkness
Where Cara used juxtaposition, Cezar opted to resonance to bridge the ideas of fragment
and phrase into two profound,intense winning haiku.
Our kukai have found both these haiku worthy to share first place spotlight
Well done Cara, Well done Cezar
--gillena cox
Caribbean Kigo Kukai - founder/coordinator
The kigo for this kukai was shroud
Friday, May 3, 2013
shroud
Labels:
Cara Holman,
Caribbean,
Cezar F.Ciobîca,
commentary,
haiku,
International,
kukai,
shroud,
Trinidad and Tobago
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