drops of wetness gleam
on the stalk
--Rita Odeh Nazareth, Israel
The focus of our eyes dips, and in rising, there is more to capture in the moment. The 'fallen ' of Line One intimates a sort of completion of the action, but our focus continues to view even more, the 'gleam' ; both completion aspects are well
juxtaposed to paint an ideally lovely picture, while the use of a present tense verb in Line Two livens the scenario, moving it out of the realm of a still life painting and placing it into the sphere of haiku.
Rita's awareness shared, is enjoyed by the writer and reader; an AHA moment achieved. Is it morning dew or rain? we agree on the latter.
Well done Rita
--gillena cox
Caribbean Kigo Kukai - founder/coordinator
The kigo for the Kukai #43 was wetness
Hi Gillena. Thank you for stopping by my blog. I appreciate visits and comments. Love your Haiku. Well done. Have a wonderful day.
ReplyDeletegloria
thank you for dropping by Kudos, to read my commentary, of Rita's winning haiku in Kuaki #43
ReplyDeletemuch love...